Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
