Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
