I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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