to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
