I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
