oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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