Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
