Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize