He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Who died my cat blue again?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
