Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
