If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
