Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
God, I missed his penis.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
