yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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