Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
