i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
