You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
