The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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