just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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