Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
