Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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