why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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