No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
