I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
