So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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