He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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