oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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