How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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