also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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