Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
