I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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