Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
