I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
