wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
