dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
