I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
