I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
