Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
