just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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