Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
