The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
