you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Of course I have a pirate flag
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
