i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
