I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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