I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
