its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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