I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize