We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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