i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
