he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
