I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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