do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
