I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
