I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
