There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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