the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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