Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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