"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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