did you get engaged???
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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